Stupid Stupid Love

I honestly wish sometimes our brains and hearts weren't hard wired to desire falling in love so badly.  It's one of those things that even at a young age you learn is so important, and you begin dreaming of that special guy, your wedding day, blah blah blah.  Movies, commercials, television shows, music, stories, everything engraves our brains with this picture of the "perfect companion."  The fairy tale dream idea of what love, life, and marriage will look like.  Your prince charming will be tall, dark, handsome, romantic, and perfect in every way. Your marriage will be spotless, and you'll all live happily ever after with two kids in a beautiful home, where everything is just perfect.

Ha. Don't we all wish.

It's really kind of pathetic the way our minds imagine these things.  We all love the sappy romantic stories, the happily ever after endings, and what not, but do those things even exist??  I'm learning the older I get that fairy tales are just that.  Nothing but a made up story of how we wish things could be.

I've watched myself and so many of my friends fall into this lie and fantasy world of what love will be like.  It's one of those things that no matter how hard you try to remind yourself isn't going to happen, the second someone shows you even a glimpse of attention, your heart melts and you begin dreaming again. Why does this happen??  Why do movies and these stories have such a huge impact on the way we think and act.  Why are we teaching our children that perfect people exist, when we all clearly know the only perfect human to ever walk this Earth was Jesus Christ himself.  Why are we taught/teaching that marriages will be this dreamland of paradise, and life will be easy, when we all know that a marriage and life are things you have to work on every. single. day.??

And yet, here I sit still hoping that I'll meet a guy who will sweep me off my feet with his romantic gestures, who will say all the right things and make me feel like I'm the most important woman in the world. I always dream that I'll find that perfect guy, when in reality I know my mental picture of the "perfect" guy probably doesn't exist.  I wish so badly sometimes that I just wouldn't care about falling in love.  But, I can't help it.  I want, more than anything, to find a great guy, fall in love, and live life together.

Then I think back on all of my experiences dating, and I truly begin to question if it'll ever happen.  I'm so sick of being the "girl before."  You know, that girl he dates/talks to before he starts dating THE girl.    The girl that fills time, or leads him to THE girl.  You know what I'm talking about?  That's been me almost every single time, and quite honestly I'm sick of it.  I'm ready to be THE girl, not the one before.

I guess I'll just keep dreaming.  Maybe he does exist, or maybe I'm just stupid enough to believe he does. Either way, as hard as I try, and as frustrated as I get every time a guy disappoints me, my heart still desires and believes that one day it will happen. I think what fuels this belief is that I know of couples that fit into my picture of a perfect couple....so it must be possible. Right?

Stupid love.  Why do you have this power?

Ok I'll stop ranting now.  I just needed to vent.