10 days...
Is that really all it's been since my last post? It feels like months to me!
The past couple of weeks have been packed with all kinds of things. I've found myself blessed beyond belief amidst all the craziness that has been happening lately.
Last Tuesday I got my wisdom teeth removed. I've had 19 teeth surgically removed, so I wasn't really worried about having four more taken out. I wasn't looking forward to having it done, but it needed to happen (while still on mom and dad's insurance :) thanks mom!). The whole process has been pretty good. I didn't have much swelling or pain at all. My jaw has been a little achey, and I don't particularly care for the taste/feeling of the incision site, but that is to be expected. I'm finally reaching the healing process (Thank you Lord!), and am eager to have my mouth back to normal.
I've also kind of been working over the last month. A few weeks ago I posted on Facebook that I was looking for some odd jobs (babysitting, design work, organizing, etc) to start saving up for the move to Haiti. I was shocked at how many people reached out to help!! I've really enjoyed meeting new people, helping out any way I can, and having something new to do each day. I've also created some great new contacts through all of this, which will be so helpful when the day comes to really hardcore fundraise!
Lately I've been helping a mom of 5 twice a week. She just had baby #5 so I've come in to give her some time off to relax, heal, and get things done without five kids screaming her name. Their family is great and have been such an encouragement. Her kids instantly opened up to me and it's been really fun every time I've gone to help. Plus I get to hold and cuddle a 3 week old baby, what's not to love! Seriously though, it's been such a blessing!
Now I'm starting to help another young woman and her husband with household needs (running errands, cleaning, etc). I met with her today and was so encouraged to hear how strong their faith was. They have/are setting up their guest room with a Missions theme so that anyone who stays in their home will either be encouraged in their walk with the Lord or have a chance to learn about God. People always say "your mission field is where ever you are." This couple has truly grasped onto that concept and it was such an encouragement!
I've found myself the last two weeks feeling discouraged and unsure about the move to Haiti. Not in the sense that I was questioning it, I just felt like things weren't moving and I SO desperately want them to. After spending some time in the Word I realized that my feelings of discontentment were because I had let my priorities get out of check. I had begun focusing on working, money, getting the answers, etc, and I forgot to make God the first and most important priority in my day. After some serious praying and asking God to help me refocus my thoughts and priorities I can already see an improvement in my mood, outlook, and contentment. I asked God to light me on fire for Haiti again and show me what step to take next.
No surprise here....He answered!!
On Sunday I was SO encouraged by people at our church. Lots of people have come up to me to say they are praying for me, and ready to support me when the time comes. Other families are already saving up to help me in the fundraising. Another amazing thing: Mom told me that the church of one of her coworkers has committed to supporting me as their missionary for the year. All of that, plus these jobs I've been getting has really encouraged me. It lets me know that God sees me, and He knows exactly what I need. He is already going ahead of me and preparing the way. I am so thankful to serve a God that loves me THAT much! He has never, and will never, leave me or forsake me. He knows my needs and provides them. I feel incredibly, INCREDIBLY, blessed!
And just when I thought God was done encouraging me for the day, I got a message from Amber. She is on her way back to Haiti and will be staying through April. Her goal is to get that building, and I am SOOO very excited to see how it all plays out!! Please join me in covering Amber, this building, and her mission in prayers. If she can get the property, things will really get moving! Please pray that God will bless her time in Haiti. Pray that He will guide her path as she begins the journey to purchase this building. Please pray that God will provide an affordable property for her to use (even if it's not this one!). Pray that He will be her strength, comfort, and provider. Pray that even on the hard days, Amber will feel God's presence and guidance. God is faithful to hear and answer our prayers; please please pray!! This is SO important!!
We serve an amazing God. A-MA-ZING!
I promise my next post will be about how God has gotten me to this point. It's a big story to tell, and I want to make sure I do justice to it.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Send me back please!
Two weeks ago I was sitting in 90 degree weather on the beautiful beaches of Haiti. A Caribbean island with clear blue water, gorgeous views, amazing friends, and perfect weather = PARADISE!
This cold weather simply does not compare. I'm ready for some warmth and gorgeous weather here.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Wishful Wednesday: Wishing The Crud Away
Ugh.
I hate this time of year. The bipolar weather has sent my sinuses on a roller coaster and they simply cannot keep up anymore. I woke up yesterday congested and had a terrible cough. This morning I could barely breathe, my voice was completely gone, and I was still congested...
Yuck.
I haven't been sick in so long, I forgot how miserable it is. Not to mention I was supposed to babysit today, and had to cancel in fear I'd pass this crud along to the kids.
Blah.
Hey did you see they're calling for snow tomorrow??? Bipolar weather I'm telling you!
Bear with me as the blogging will be sparse this week. Here's to hoping this crud goes away quickly!
I hate this time of year. The bipolar weather has sent my sinuses on a roller coaster and they simply cannot keep up anymore. I woke up yesterday congested and had a terrible cough. This morning I could barely breathe, my voice was completely gone, and I was still congested...
Yuck.
I haven't been sick in so long, I forgot how miserable it is. Not to mention I was supposed to babysit today, and had to cancel in fear I'd pass this crud along to the kids.
Blah.
Hey did you see they're calling for snow tomorrow??? Bipolar weather I'm telling you!
Bear with me as the blogging will be sparse this week. Here's to hoping this crud goes away quickly!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Haiti-Sick
This is a new term Amanda came up with to describe how much we miss Haiti. Instead of being home-sick we are all Haiti-sick.
I miss it so very much. My heart longs to be there every single day. I feel like I belong, like I'm doing what I'm supposed to with my life, and like my purpose is clear when I'm in Haiti. While it is one of the most challenging places for me, Haiti is also like a second home where I feel more at peace than anywhere else. I know my journey is just beginning, but I am so anxious to get back down there. We've been home a week and a half and I'm more than ready to be back.
Phase one of preparing for my move to Haiti has begun. Thanks to a generous donor, I was able to purchase the first set of material to learn Creole. I'm going to work my way through the "Creole Made Easy" workbook and audio material. Once I've mastered that program (the basics of Creole), I'm going to begin phase two of the language process. Mom and I found this highly rated system, similar to Rosetta Stone (which doesn't carry Creole by the way), called Pimsleur. They've got a 30 lesson course that guarantees you'll be speaking at a conversational level by the end. I'm pretty excited to start this part of the journey. Creole is fascinating to me, and I'm hoping I'll be able to pick up and retain it all pretty quickly.
I've also begun trying to save up for Haiti. I still am not sure how much I'll need to have, but through working some random jobs, until camp starts full time, I think I can get a good start on things. I posted on Facebook the other day that I'm looking for random jobs to help in this process (babysitting, design assistance, running errands, cleaning, organizational help, etc), and the response has been amazing!! Friends I haven't talked to in years have contacted me with opportunities, and others have put me in contact with some great jobs. God's faithfulness never ceases to amaze me. Thank you to everyone who has contacted me and are helping to get these positions.
Another random update: I've decided to put all of my pictures from the last three trips to Haiti into picture books. I'm hoping this will be a great way to save my pictures, retain all of the memories, and serve as a resource when speaking to people about my journey to Haiti. Plus it's been a lot of fun walking down memory lane, and looking into all of the details God has orchestrated up to this point.
I'm not sure if I've ever really written my testimony or all of the specifics God has done to get me here. I'll try to make that my next blog post.
Thanks again to everyone for your support, love, and prayers. The feedback I've gotten already has been extremely encouraging and uplifting. Y'all are the best!
I miss it so very much. My heart longs to be there every single day. I feel like I belong, like I'm doing what I'm supposed to with my life, and like my purpose is clear when I'm in Haiti. While it is one of the most challenging places for me, Haiti is also like a second home where I feel more at peace than anywhere else. I know my journey is just beginning, but I am so anxious to get back down there. We've been home a week and a half and I'm more than ready to be back.
Phase one of preparing for my move to Haiti has begun. Thanks to a generous donor, I was able to purchase the first set of material to learn Creole. I'm going to work my way through the "Creole Made Easy" workbook and audio material. Once I've mastered that program (the basics of Creole), I'm going to begin phase two of the language process. Mom and I found this highly rated system, similar to Rosetta Stone (which doesn't carry Creole by the way), called Pimsleur. They've got a 30 lesson course that guarantees you'll be speaking at a conversational level by the end. I'm pretty excited to start this part of the journey. Creole is fascinating to me, and I'm hoping I'll be able to pick up and retain it all pretty quickly.
I've also begun trying to save up for Haiti. I still am not sure how much I'll need to have, but through working some random jobs, until camp starts full time, I think I can get a good start on things. I posted on Facebook the other day that I'm looking for random jobs to help in this process (babysitting, design assistance, running errands, cleaning, organizational help, etc), and the response has been amazing!! Friends I haven't talked to in years have contacted me with opportunities, and others have put me in contact with some great jobs. God's faithfulness never ceases to amaze me. Thank you to everyone who has contacted me and are helping to get these positions.
Another random update: I've decided to put all of my pictures from the last three trips to Haiti into picture books. I'm hoping this will be a great way to save my pictures, retain all of the memories, and serve as a resource when speaking to people about my journey to Haiti. Plus it's been a lot of fun walking down memory lane, and looking into all of the details God has orchestrated up to this point.
I'm not sure if I've ever really written my testimony or all of the specifics God has done to get me here. I'll try to make that my next blog post.
Thanks again to everyone for your support, love, and prayers. The feedback I've gotten already has been extremely encouraging and uplifting. Y'all are the best!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Escaping the Limbo: I'm Moving to Haiti!
My biggest God moment of the entire week in Haiti was Tuesday night when I sat down with mom, Donna, Jim, & Debbie to discuss how I felt called to Haiti. The conversation started with just mom, Donna, & I over a game of Rummikub. I don't really remember how it got started, but I vividly remember how it went and how it ended (lots of tears, excitement, expressing of fears, overcoming those fears, and lots of encouragement through it all).
Donna (Jim's sister) is a motivational speaker, and is now working with Jim Debbie at their House of Hope in Haiti. To say that she has a way with words is an understatement. She asked me some very difficult questions and really pushed me to get out of the limbo of not knowing. When she and I started talking, I was in a place of maybes, what if's, and I don't knows. I wasn't 100% sure of God's calling or if I was able to do what He was asking. I knew God had been laying some pretty big stepping stones up to this point, but I felt like I had run into a wall. I was questioning where I'd work in Haiti, where I'd live, what I'd be doing, how I'd raise the money, etc.
It wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just felt like the journey had come to a stand still, and I wasn't sure how to get it moving again. I was also still in a place of exploring working as a designer here in the States, and trying to mesh the two together somehow.
Basically I was full of excuses.
Donna put it bluntly (which I most definitely needed!!) that if I were raising these questions about anything else in life, I would go get on the web or begin getting connections to answer these questions.
Duh Allyson!!
I had let my fears, and overwhelming amounts of questions paralyze me. Instead of taking steps forward I just froze and stopped trusting that God would show me the way. Donna pushed me to let go of the "I don't knows" & "I don't cares" and to begin taking steps forward. She, Jim, & Debbie all encouraged me by saying, that once I began taking steps forward to follow God's call, whatever they may be, that the ball would begin moving again and it would all fall in place.
So, here I am now saying to you all that I am no longer pursuing a career in design, I am no longer letting the fears or questions paralyze me, and I'm taking the first step forward by announcing this:
I'm moving to Haiti to do full-time Missions!!!
I still do not know when I'll leave, where I'll be working, where I'll be living, or how much financial support I'll need to raise, but the move is going to happen! My hope is that I'll be down there by the end of the year. I've already started talking to some contacts Jim, Debbie, & Donna gave me about possible opportunities. Nothing has been decided yet, as there are a lot of details that need to be figured out first. I'm pleading with you to cover this journey in prayers. The power of prayer is a POWERFUL tool that we all have access to. I would be so appreciative if you could remember me each day as you pray.
One specific prayer I'd like to ask you to lift up is for Amber Hasson & the ministry she is trying to start in Haiti (Amber is one of the contacts Donna gave me). She is trying to start a trade school for young men & women in the Ravine (see previous post). From what I understand, she is hoping the school will provide them with access to education learning basic skills that can assist them in getting jobs. She is also hoping to provide a daycare area for parents, so they can work without having to leave their little ones at home alone. I haven't heard the full expanse of her dreams for this place, but what I do know is right now she is in her own place of waiting. There is a building right by the Ravine that she is hoping to buy and fix up to run this trade school in. She is in the process of trying to figure out if it is for sale, if so how much, and if it is something she could afford. As I spoke to her about the possibility of teaming up with her in this journey, she seemed excited, but explained that nothing can move forward until the building is purchased. She asked that I pray with her over this, so I am asking you all to do the same. If it is God's will that this building become a place for his work, I know it will come to pass. Here is the building she is hoping to buy:
Please join me in covering Amber, this building, and her mission/dreams in prayer!
I don't know yet if this is where God will have me work, but it would be an honor and a joy to partner with Amber. Until then, I will do my part, and that is to pray and support her.
As for some other steps I am beginning to take in following God's call:
-I'm planning to start learning Creole. Every missionary I spoke with last week urged me to learn the language before I come full-time. They all said it makes life much easier and your work more effective. So here's to learning Creole!! I'm pretty excited about this step!
-Begin creating more contacts in Haiti and exploring mission opportunities for me.
-Take a trip back to Haiti alone to do this networking & exploring.
-Begin trying to save up as much money as I can, while I try to get a better understanding of how much I'll need to raise before I can go.
-Pray, pray, pray, & Pray some more. Along with faithfully trusting God every step of the way.
-Begin taking on more mission opportunities here at home. Jim made a very good point that if I'm not sharing God's word at home, then there's no way I'll share when I'm there. I need to make an even bigger effort to share God's word every chance I get here. I need to break through some of my self-doubts and insecurities and just go full force. Practice makes perfect right?! A couple of ways I've already agreed to are by being a small group leader for our church's upcoming youth Metamorphosis weekend, and by agreeing to be the Director at Grey Stone Kids Camp again this summer. These are two HUGE witnessing tools, and I'm excited to go even further than I have before with them both.
-And then, along this whole journey I will be trying to discern God's specific call for me in Haiti. I seriously cannot ask you enough to cover this in prayer! It is a HUGE step in the process, and one I find myself worrying about often. (That's the planner in me! Trying to let that go and trust God with the plans!). Once details are figured out the fundraising and specific logistical plans will begin happening.
I am so so SO very excited about this next chapter of my life. I have never felt more at peace about a decision before, and I cannot wait to see how God will use, challenge, and grow me through it all.
Donna (Jim's sister) is a motivational speaker, and is now working with Jim Debbie at their House of Hope in Haiti. To say that she has a way with words is an understatement. She asked me some very difficult questions and really pushed me to get out of the limbo of not knowing. When she and I started talking, I was in a place of maybes, what if's, and I don't knows. I wasn't 100% sure of God's calling or if I was able to do what He was asking. I knew God had been laying some pretty big stepping stones up to this point, but I felt like I had run into a wall. I was questioning where I'd work in Haiti, where I'd live, what I'd be doing, how I'd raise the money, etc.
It wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just felt like the journey had come to a stand still, and I wasn't sure how to get it moving again. I was also still in a place of exploring working as a designer here in the States, and trying to mesh the two together somehow.
Basically I was full of excuses.
Donna put it bluntly (which I most definitely needed!!) that if I were raising these questions about anything else in life, I would go get on the web or begin getting connections to answer these questions.
Duh Allyson!!
I had let my fears, and overwhelming amounts of questions paralyze me. Instead of taking steps forward I just froze and stopped trusting that God would show me the way. Donna pushed me to let go of the "I don't knows" & "I don't cares" and to begin taking steps forward. She, Jim, & Debbie all encouraged me by saying, that once I began taking steps forward to follow God's call, whatever they may be, that the ball would begin moving again and it would all fall in place.
So, here I am now saying to you all that I am no longer pursuing a career in design, I am no longer letting the fears or questions paralyze me, and I'm taking the first step forward by announcing this:
I'm moving to Haiti to do full-time Missions!!!
I still do not know when I'll leave, where I'll be working, where I'll be living, or how much financial support I'll need to raise, but the move is going to happen! My hope is that I'll be down there by the end of the year. I've already started talking to some contacts Jim, Debbie, & Donna gave me about possible opportunities. Nothing has been decided yet, as there are a lot of details that need to be figured out first. I'm pleading with you to cover this journey in prayers. The power of prayer is a POWERFUL tool that we all have access to. I would be so appreciative if you could remember me each day as you pray.
One specific prayer I'd like to ask you to lift up is for Amber Hasson & the ministry she is trying to start in Haiti (Amber is one of the contacts Donna gave me). She is trying to start a trade school for young men & women in the Ravine (see previous post). From what I understand, she is hoping the school will provide them with access to education learning basic skills that can assist them in getting jobs. She is also hoping to provide a daycare area for parents, so they can work without having to leave their little ones at home alone. I haven't heard the full expanse of her dreams for this place, but what I do know is right now she is in her own place of waiting. There is a building right by the Ravine that she is hoping to buy and fix up to run this trade school in. She is in the process of trying to figure out if it is for sale, if so how much, and if it is something she could afford. As I spoke to her about the possibility of teaming up with her in this journey, she seemed excited, but explained that nothing can move forward until the building is purchased. She asked that I pray with her over this, so I am asking you all to do the same. If it is God's will that this building become a place for his work, I know it will come to pass. Here is the building she is hoping to buy:
I don't know yet if this is where God will have me work, but it would be an honor and a joy to partner with Amber. Until then, I will do my part, and that is to pray and support her.
As for some other steps I am beginning to take in following God's call:
-I'm planning to start learning Creole. Every missionary I spoke with last week urged me to learn the language before I come full-time. They all said it makes life much easier and your work more effective. So here's to learning Creole!! I'm pretty excited about this step!
-Begin creating more contacts in Haiti and exploring mission opportunities for me.
-Take a trip back to Haiti alone to do this networking & exploring.
-Begin trying to save up as much money as I can, while I try to get a better understanding of how much I'll need to raise before I can go.
-Pray, pray, pray, & Pray some more. Along with faithfully trusting God every step of the way.
-Begin taking on more mission opportunities here at home. Jim made a very good point that if I'm not sharing God's word at home, then there's no way I'll share when I'm there. I need to make an even bigger effort to share God's word every chance I get here. I need to break through some of my self-doubts and insecurities and just go full force. Practice makes perfect right?! A couple of ways I've already agreed to are by being a small group leader for our church's upcoming youth Metamorphosis weekend, and by agreeing to be the Director at Grey Stone Kids Camp again this summer. These are two HUGE witnessing tools, and I'm excited to go even further than I have before with them both.
-And then, along this whole journey I will be trying to discern God's specific call for me in Haiti. I seriously cannot ask you enough to cover this in prayer! It is a HUGE step in the process, and one I find myself worrying about often. (That's the planner in me! Trying to let that go and trust God with the plans!). Once details are figured out the fundraising and specific logistical plans will begin happening.
I am so so SO very excited about this next chapter of my life. I have never felt more at peace about a decision before, and I cannot wait to see how God will use, challenge, and grow me through it all.
I'm moving to Haiti!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
God Moments: Wednesday in Haiti
Wednesday was a very emotional and moving day for me. I knew our plan was to walk the ravine and visit Pastor Cenor's orphanage. I did not, however, know that God was going to break my heart in more ways than one, push me to consider options I'd never thought of, or encourage me at the end of it all with a good laugh. God is pretty incredible like that.
Wednesday morning we woke up, had a fabulous breakfast (thank you Donna & Debbie!!) and walked over to Sherrie's place. Sherrie Fausey runs a school/orphanage/feeding program/everything just down the street from Jim's place. I worked at her place back in 2009, during my first trip to Haiti, but this was the first time in three years that I got the opportunity to spend time with her and see what all she does again. Sherrie gave us a quick tour of the school (side note: that place is HUGE now!), and then proceeded to walk us up to the roof; her favorite spot. From her rooftop you get a complete 360 degree view of Port au Prince. You could see the ocean, the mountains, and everything in between. It was stunning!
We serve a Mighty God yall. One who loves us more than we will ever understand. This was just one day of how God worked this past week. I'm just getting started so stay tuned.
Wednesday morning we woke up, had a fabulous breakfast (thank you Donna & Debbie!!) and walked over to Sherrie's place. Sherrie Fausey runs a school/orphanage/feeding program/everything just down the street from Jim's place. I worked at her place back in 2009, during my first trip to Haiti, but this was the first time in three years that I got the opportunity to spend time with her and see what all she does again. Sherrie gave us a quick tour of the school (side note: that place is HUGE now!), and then proceeded to walk us up to the roof; her favorite spot. From her rooftop you get a complete 360 degree view of Port au Prince. You could see the ocean, the mountains, and everything in between. It was stunning!
(View of the ocean from Sherrie's roof)
As the team stood around admiring the view, Ken asked Sherrie if she would tell us about how she got started in Haiti. I knew all about what Sherrie has been doing in Haiti, but I had never heard the story of how she got started. To fully understand how much her story meant to me, you need to know that just the night before I spent a couple of hours talking with Jim, Debbie, Donna, and Mom about my calling to Haiti. It was an emotion filled conversation with lots of added encouragement, challenges, and direction (more to come on that soon). As Sherrie told her story, I felt Jim looking at me, but I also felt God saying "SEE!! IF SHE CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU! JUST DO IT!!" At the end of her story Sherrie said "If you feel like God is calling you to do something but it's scary, and you feel completely inadequate or unable, then He is definitely calling you, so just jump in feet forward!" She said, "It feels like you're stepping off the side of a cliff and that you're going to fall 1,000 feet, BUT if you're following Gods call then He is walking with you, and will not let you fall."
And then my heart started racing. Tears were welling up in my eyes and it was another one of those moments where there is absolutely no denying that God was calling me. I've had quite a few of those moments over the last few weeks. They are insanely scary yet the most peace-filled moments you can imagine. I've written quite a bit about my fears in moving to Haiti; how I feel completely inadequate and question "Are you sure God?? You really want ME?" After this week, there is no doubt in my mind that He is sure. He wants me there. He has orchestrated every single tiny detail up to this point to get me to where I am. It's crazy, but I've never felt more at peace about any decision than I do right now.
After Sherrie shared her testimony, she walked us down to the Ravine. For those of you that do not know about the ravine, it is basically the slums of Haiti. These people have next to nothing but their little concrete block, one room home, and a tin roof where their entire family lives. Their houses are situated on the ravine; a river filled with sewage, waste, and everything else. This water is what the people drink from, bathe in, go to the bathroom in, cook with, wash their clothes in, etc. Until you see it first hand and experience the poverty yourself, you cannot imagine what these people must go through each day.
(Danny crossing the Ravine)
(Mom crossing the Ravine with Jim's help. He was so graciously willing to step into the trash and parasite ridden water to help us across. Thank you Jim for your Servant's heart. You are an inspiration!)
As we walked through (and across) the ravine, I found myself in awe of the people who live there. With my selfish American spoiled mindset, I found myself thinking these people should be angry, saddened by their conditions, broken even. But what we found was nothing of the sorts. Every. Single. Person we passed had a smile on their face. They greeted us with "Bonswa" and "Alo" around every corner. Kids ran out from behind their curtained doors to grab our hands and walk with us. The people came out to help us navigate our way through the maze of a tent city. They were the most loving and gracious people we encountered all week. These people who have every reason to be mad at the world, love it in a way that I can't even comprehend. They are grateful for what they do have. They never forget the joy a smile can bring. They jump at the opportunity to hold your hand and express their love to you.
In this realization I found myself feeling guilty for all of the selfish thoughts, actions, and motives I have each day. I have NOTHING to complain about, yet we as Americans find things daily to groan over. We are blessed in thousands of ways, yet we are still not content. I was encouraged and challenged by these people to find contentment. To love regardless the circumstances. To smile even when things are hard. To love fully and unconditionally.
In this realization I found myself feeling guilty for all of the selfish thoughts, actions, and motives I have each day. I have NOTHING to complain about, yet we as Americans find things daily to groan over. We are blessed in thousands of ways, yet we are still not content. I was encouraged and challenged by these people to find contentment. To love regardless the circumstances. To smile even when things are hard. To love fully and unconditionally.
(Sherrie talking to a mother about her child)
And then, just when I thought my God moments were over for the day, I was wrong (no surprise there). After we left Sherrie's Jim told us about this sweet elderly lady that lived down the street from him who was in her final days of battling cancer. He went into her home to see how she was doing and to ask if we could come in and sing to her. She was not having a good day, but agreed to have us anyways. I was not prepared for what lay beyond that door. We walked into a tiny little concrete block home. It was dark, hot, and just a tiny little fan was blowing. And then we saw Elizabeth.
(Elizabeth & Jim. Picture taken from Donna Tyson's blog)
Jim was sitting beside her on the bed. She had only a sheet on and it was covered in blood from the tumors that had come through the surface of her skin and broken open. Her right arm was swollen, and her left one was so frail. She took all of her energy to sit up and greet us. Mom started us off and we sang hymns to her while she used what little energy she had left to sing along with us. As we sang How Great Thou Art, my heart was breaking. I will never be able to sing that song again without seeing Elizabeths face or thinking of her (I broke down on Sunday at Grey Stone when they started singing it). Here was this incredible Christian woman, fighting her way through her last days on this earth. She was pain ridden, bleeding, frail, and dying yet she still found the strength to praise God. When we finished singing, Jim asked if someone would like to pray for her. It was all I could do to not break into an uncontrollable sob, let alone get the words out to pray. He prayed over her, and at the end said to her, "When you get to Heaven, your pain will end. You will have a healthy, strong, and cancer free body. And when we get to meet you in Heaven one day, we will be able to sing those songs together in the same language." What an incredible picture that was. How joyous Heaven will be. I only spent a few short moments with Ms. Elizabeth that day, but she will forever hold a very dear place in my heart. I cannot wait to see her singing, dancing, and praising God one day in Heaven, with her healthy body!
After visiting Elizabeth we headed back to the house, ate some lunch, and then headed out to Pastor Cenor's orphanage. I've met Pastor Cenor twice now, but had never gotten the opportunity to see his orphanage. His place and the kids were great. We all noticed how well behaved and polite all the kids were. While the kids ate lunch Pastor Cenor shared his testimony with the team.
(Pastor Cenor and his wife)
I heard his story back in 2009, but it is an incredible testimony. He shared about how real and evident demons are in Haiti. Here in America, we don't face demonic possessions or see their power first hand, but we have our own demons: like technology, pornography, hatred, etc. The Devil knows just how to get in between us and God, and here in America it clearly doesn't take much. In Haiti however, they experience evil in a much more head on way. Pastor Cenor shared about how VooDoo spirits took over his mother, how he escaped from that world, how he came to know Christ, and how he has led many VooDoo priests and followers to Christ over the last few years. It's an incredible story, that I simply can't do justice to with my own words. I was encouraged, however, to hear his story and about how big his faith is. He will do anything the Lord tells him without question. He's incredible.
Now, I mentioned above that God also spoke to me that day through laughter. Before we left for the orphanage, Debbie mentioned that we should ask the kids to sing and dance for us. We had no idea how much fun it would be. The kids danced and sang their heart out (see link below). The workers were cracking up with laughter and we ended the day on such a fun note. It was a beautiful reminder to me that God see us and he knows just what we need. He is faithful to guide us, direct our paths, push us to new beginnings, expand our comfort zones, and use us for his goodness; but he is also faithful to fill us with joy and a happiness we cannot explain. He blesses us with those moments where we can sit back, laugh, and enjoy His creation.
We serve a Mighty God yall. One who loves us more than we will ever understand. This was just one day of how God worked this past week. I'm just getting started so stay tuned.
Haiti God Moments: Dorothy's
As you all know, Dorothy's orphanage holds a very near and dear place in my heart. I absolutely love her, the work she's doing, and all of the kids. It warms my heart every time I get to hug Dorothy's neck or bend down and scoop up an armful of her kids. I love it there.
This time around, however, our trips to Dorothy's were different than the past two trips to Haiti. Because we were not staying at her place, we did not get to see the kids as much as usual. While I missed seeing the kids as much, I found staying at Jim & Debbie's allowed me to return more rested and energized. I was much more open and ready to play with the kids this go round.
It was also really incredible when we pulled up to Dorothy's house the first day. This was the first time mom got to experience where I had been staying and working over the last year. As soon as we got out of the car, you could hear the kids screaming "Cassie-Allyson!! Cassie-Allyson!!" Mom thought it was cool, but I found myself giddy with excitement to go see them. Cassie and I ended up rushing out to the backyard so we could wrap our arms around the kids. I completely bypassed the guests in the house, and forgot to show mom, Amy, and Amanda around first. Those initial moments, seeing the kids for the first time in 7 months, and them screaming with excitement to see us is a feeling you can't describe, you just have to experience. I eventually went back in the house and introduced mom and met the guests. One of the ladies inside introduced herself to me and asked my name. When I said my name was Allyson, she goes "Ooh!! You're the Allyson the kids keep asking for!!"
And my heart melted.
They don't just remember me when I pull in the driveway. They ask for me by name even when other guests are there. Cassie put it best when she said in that moment she realized that the kids love us. We both know how much we love them, and we hope and pray we can make an impact on their lives and provide a loving support to them, but it wasn't until that moment, that we both really understood for the first time that they do truly love us. We have impacted their life, in a positive way. They love and miss us just as much as we love and miss them.
Love. It's such a powerful thing.
I experienced this moment again when it came time to leave Dorothy's on the last day. I had been dreading saying goodbye to the kids, as it is always hard for me. This time however, I was holding back tears all morning. When I went outside to say goodbye, Johnny ran, jumped in my arms, and just hugged me as tight as he could. When I couldn't put off goodbye any longer, I whispered to him "mwen renmen ou" (I love you in Creole). His head popped up and he grinned and said I love YOU!
And my heart melted again.
He understood. Not only did he understand but he responded with the same love.
It was in that moment that I got a glimpse at how big God's love is for us. I recently read a book called Kisses From Katie, about a young girl who moved to Uganda to do mission work. Right before we left for Haiti, I watched this clip where she shared about how she understood how massive God's love is through the adoption of her children. She said that while we are not direct biological children of God, like Jesus is, He still loves us just as much as he loved Jesus. In that moment, where I found myself loving this child as if he were my own, even though he did not come from my body, I understood how big God's love is. He loves all of us just as much as he loved his very own son, Jesus. What an incredible and inspiring love that is. Katie verbalizes it better in this audio clip:
It never ceases to amaze me at how God shows His love for us. He did it in so many ways this past week, but when Johnny looked back up at me and said he loved me, it was as if God himself said I love you. Just as you love this little boy, I love you even more.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." -1 John 3:1
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." -2 Corinthians 6:18
What an incredible God we serve!
This time around, however, our trips to Dorothy's were different than the past two trips to Haiti. Because we were not staying at her place, we did not get to see the kids as much as usual. While I missed seeing the kids as much, I found staying at Jim & Debbie's allowed me to return more rested and energized. I was much more open and ready to play with the kids this go round.
It was also really incredible when we pulled up to Dorothy's house the first day. This was the first time mom got to experience where I had been staying and working over the last year. As soon as we got out of the car, you could hear the kids screaming "Cassie-Allyson!! Cassie-Allyson!!" Mom thought it was cool, but I found myself giddy with excitement to go see them. Cassie and I ended up rushing out to the backyard so we could wrap our arms around the kids. I completely bypassed the guests in the house, and forgot to show mom, Amy, and Amanda around first. Those initial moments, seeing the kids for the first time in 7 months, and them screaming with excitement to see us is a feeling you can't describe, you just have to experience. I eventually went back in the house and introduced mom and met the guests. One of the ladies inside introduced herself to me and asked my name. When I said my name was Allyson, she goes "Ooh!! You're the Allyson the kids keep asking for!!"
And my heart melted.
They don't just remember me when I pull in the driveway. They ask for me by name even when other guests are there. Cassie put it best when she said in that moment she realized that the kids love us. We both know how much we love them, and we hope and pray we can make an impact on their lives and provide a loving support to them, but it wasn't until that moment, that we both really understood for the first time that they do truly love us. We have impacted their life, in a positive way. They love and miss us just as much as we love and miss them.
Love. It's such a powerful thing.
I experienced this moment again when it came time to leave Dorothy's on the last day. I had been dreading saying goodbye to the kids, as it is always hard for me. This time however, I was holding back tears all morning. When I went outside to say goodbye, Johnny ran, jumped in my arms, and just hugged me as tight as he could. When I couldn't put off goodbye any longer, I whispered to him "mwen renmen ou" (I love you in Creole). His head popped up and he grinned and said I love YOU!
And my heart melted again.
He understood. Not only did he understand but he responded with the same love.
It was in that moment that I got a glimpse at how big God's love is for us. I recently read a book called Kisses From Katie, about a young girl who moved to Uganda to do mission work. Right before we left for Haiti, I watched this clip where she shared about how she understood how massive God's love is through the adoption of her children. She said that while we are not direct biological children of God, like Jesus is, He still loves us just as much as he loved Jesus. In that moment, where I found myself loving this child as if he were my own, even though he did not come from my body, I understood how big God's love is. He loves all of us just as much as he loved his very own son, Jesus. What an incredible and inspiring love that is. Katie verbalizes it better in this audio clip:
It never ceases to amaze me at how God shows His love for us. He did it in so many ways this past week, but when Johnny looked back up at me and said he loved me, it was as if God himself said I love you. Just as you love this little boy, I love you even more.
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." -1 John 3:1
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." -2 Corinthians 6:18
(Me & Johnny being silly. January 2013)
Monday, January 7, 2013
God Moments: Haiti
I've been trying to think of the right words to share with you about our trip to Haiti. I posted early in the week, but as the week went on, I found it harder to write. I couldn't find the words to do justice to what God was doing in my life. Every day I felt more blessed, challenged, and encouraged than I ever had before. The Lord truly pushed me way out of my comfort zone this past week. While not every step was easy, they were all needed and abundantly encouraging in the end. I knew God had plans for me this week, I just never imagined they would be this big. I never thought I'd leave with such powerful new formed friendships that feel like they've always been in my life. I never thought he would put me in contact with people who weren't afraid to bluntly yet lovingly push me to go further each day. I never thought God would break my heart in so many ways for His people in Haiti each day. This trip was more powerful, more fulfilling, more challenging, and harder to leave than any trip I've ever taken before. It's so difficult to wrap up everything that happened in one or two posts. I think I could write 20 posts and still not do justice to how incredible God was this week. However, I am going to try.
My favorite part of each day while we were in Haiti was sharing our "God Moments" with the team at night. We went around the table and shared about how God worked in our lives that day; sharing any moments that stood out. We shared about challenging, heart-warming, heart-breaking, God inspired, and even laughter filled moments each night. I was so encouraged to hear how God was working through my team members. This time also challenged me to be more deliberate about paying attention and recognizing God's work in my life each day. It's so easy to overlook the small and sometimes big things He does each day. I loved that we were pushed to focus on those moments, remember them, and share them to encourage each other every night.
So, in an attempt to summarize my week in Haiti, the next few posts will share some of my standout most memorable God moments of the week.
What was your God moment today? Did you have any "ah ha!" moments with God? Did He push you do to something new? Think about it for a few minutes. You'll find once you realize one God moment from today, He will reveal even more to you.
I simply cannot thank all of you enough for your support, financial assistance, and prayers over the last week. You will never truly know how much it means to me and how much you blessed my life. Even if you didn't physically join us on this trip, each and everyone of you were a part of it. Thank you for loving and believing in me enough to send me to Haiti. I am eternally grateful to you all!
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