Power Button?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I wish my brain had a power button and I could just turn it off anytime thoughts of my ex passed through my mind. This past week I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I have no idea why it just seems like stuff keeps bringing him to mind. I don't want to think about him anymore, I don't like the anger I feel when his name crosses my mind, I don't like still being linked to him in any way possible. I just want total freedom from him. And I want the anger and hurt to stop.

And when he's not passing through my mind, Chris is. I've got a battle going on with my mind and heart when it comes to Chris. My heart really misses him and wants another chance, but my brain says leave things how they are. The time we spent together was awesome and I really liked him. Maybe that was just us trying to be what we thought each other wanted us to be. I honestly don't know. My heart says talk to him and figure this whole thing out and my brain says leave him alone. Which one do I listen to? Is he feeling the same way?

Hopefully the day that my ex becomes nothing more than a faint memory will come soon, and things will get figured out between Chris and I. Until then, I'll keep wishing for that power button.

I could use your prayers this week. I'm really struggling.

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