This blog post is overdue, and that's because I have been putting it off. I've told this story to so many people lately, explained my thoughts/circumstances, and received so many thoughts to consider over the last few weeks, that I feel like a broken record that just can't seem to get back on course.
I'm lost, unsure, and a little discouraged over it all, but I'm leaving it at God's feet and trusting He will show me that right path when the time comes. I ask that after reading this post, that you would lift up a prayer for me as I seek God's will on what to do. I'm at the point now where I just have to "Let go & Let God" - a quote on a gift from a dear friend and mentor.
As many (if not all) of you know, the recovery process since my surgery has been more complicated than originally anticipated. This has left me with some big decisions to make regarding where to go next on this journey.
Option A: I return to Haiti as soon as I'm able (it is still unknown when that will be an option) and finish out my commitment through October. This would mean putting long term PT care on hold, potential risk of further injury, and limited access to medical care if something were to happen; BUT it would allow me to follow through with my commitment and dream of living and working in Haiti on the mission field, which so many people have donated to help me do.
Option B: I stay here in the USA, continue PT for best results, have easy access to my doctors and medical care, and begin focusing on short-term/local missions for a while. If I go this route, I would also begin exploring career options & dreams of mine. However, this option would mean breaking my commitment to living in Haiti for the year, and giving up (at least for a while) the dream of being a missionary overseas.
Neither option is perfect, and neither option is a no-brainer for me. There are days where either one seems like the best course and then the next morning I'm on the fence again. Do I make my commitment to Haiti or my long-term health the priority right now? Either way I choose I can be successful in different regards, and either way I know God will use me, but I'm still unsure of which one is best. As I said, I'm desperately in need of your prayers right now.
This is not a decision I take lightly. So many of you have given to help me following this calling, and I want to honor everyone's support and financial gifts to the best of my ability. For now, I'm focusing on getting my incision to heal, gaining strength, and our upcoming short trip to Haiti in April. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.
Thank you all SO very much for all of your love, support, and advice throughout this journey. Hopefully I will have an update with a decision for you all soon. Until then, please just keep me in your prayers.
On a really random and more upbeat note:
I REALLY miss these girls!! I think a reunion needs to be in our very near future =).
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