Wow a Whole Year!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Wow. That's what keeps going through my mind when I think about this day. A year ago today, December 20th, I got a text from my ex telling me things were over. As you know from past posts, that was a VERY difficult time for me. So many questions, worries, fears, doubts, and thoughts went through my head those first couple of months. If you would have told me I'd be sitting here today happy as can be, I would have NEVER believed you. Honestly, a year ago, I thought my life had ended. Everything I knew and was comfortable with was ripped away leaving me bare and vulnerable. Let me tell you, God sure does know what He's doing! It could not have happened at a better time or in a better way. I needed that sudden jolt of things turning upside down to wake me up from the disastrous fantasy world I had been living in. I needed to be stripped bare of my comforts in order to recognize how far I had gotten from the woman God wanted me to be and the woman I wanted to be. WOW! I am so proud of how far I've come over the last year. I'm finally becoming the woman God wants me to be, I have friends in my life again, and I've gotten so much closer with my family throug this. I'm so glad I didn't give up and trusted God throughout this situation. It's not been easy but I did it!!!!! WOW! I DID IT!!! :-D

So what have I learned through this experience you may wonder? Well...

  1. Never, ever, EVER settle. I settled in SO many ways. I convinced myself that the qualities I thought were important were not so important anymore. I let myself believe that was the best I could do. I let myself believe that he was the best I deserved. I was wrong. So many people make this mistake; it's one of those you have to make in order to completely understand. But it was just that, a mistake. The qualities I dream of are there for a reason. They are to protect and guide me in my path to finding the right man. I will never make that mistake again. Life is too short to settle.
  2. Never stop listening to God. As much as I hate to admit it, I ignored God multiple times. I knew He was telling me to run and run as fast as I could. I knew He was telling me that my ex was not the one and that it was not a good relationship. I knew. I just chose not to listen. I wish I would have. I know now, that if God's speaking to you, it's for a reason so LISTEN!
  3. Don't expect people to change. Yeah yeah I know, people never change. In my mind however, I believed he could and that he should. Crazy I know. People don't change, they are who they are and I should not ever asked anyone to change. I know my actions and thoughts were wrong here. I won't make that mistake again.
  4. Healthy relationships require open and equal communication. Communication is SOOO important and I realize that even more now. It was definitely a quality we both lacked in different ways. I've learned to be more open and willing to listen and i've also learned that I need a guy who will do the same. A relationship without communication is dead.
  5. Be an individual. One of the biggest mistakes I made was distancing myself from my friends. This is probably the biggest thing I regret. I missed out and hurt so many friendships along the way and am saddened to see what all I lost. An individual life outside of a relationship is just as important if not more important than the relationship itself. I understand now that it is SO important to take time with friends, enjoy weekend getaways with the girls, and have that time to share and listen with each other. You have to have friends and keep those connections strong in order to have a healthy relationship with anyone else. I'm so happy now that I make time for those things. There is truly nothing better than enjoying time with my friends. I'm so thankful for the girls God has put in my life and I'm so grateful to call them my friends.
  6. Respect. Respect is so important in a relationship. I've learned, in a relationship respect means respecting not just them but also, their time, interests, friends, family, and opinions. This had definitely been lacking.
  7. Lean on God, always. During my past relationship, I stopped leaning on God. I stopped doing my devotions and I stopped praying. I got it in my mind that I had things under control and thought I understood everything. Boy was I wrong! There is nothing worse or scarier than being distant from God. You stop feeling his peace and love when you don't lean on Him. Being dependent upon God is where I find true comfort and happiness. I love being in the middle of His will for my life now.

Thank you Lord for your grace, guidance, and comfort through this journey. Thank you for showing me things I once refused to see. Thank you for watching over me and showing me what is best for my life. Thank you for this day and all you have taught me through this year. Thank you Lord, for getting me to this point. I am so happy with where you have me in life right now and I am so excited to see what's next!

And to all of you who have supported me along this journey:
Thank you so much for your love and support. Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words. It means so much more to me then you will ever know. I love you and am thankful for you all!

Bring on next year!!!!!!!

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