Escaping the Limbo: I'm Moving to Haiti!

My biggest God moment of the entire week in Haiti was Tuesday night when I sat down with mom, Donna, Jim, & Debbie to discuss how I felt called to Haiti.  The conversation started with just mom, Donna, & I over a game of Rummikub.  I don't really remember how it got started, but I vividly remember how it went and how it ended (lots of tears, excitement, expressing of fears,  overcoming those fears, and lots of encouragement through it all).

Donna (Jim's sister) is a motivational speaker, and is now working with Jim Debbie at their House of Hope in Haiti.  To say that she has a way with words is an understatement.  She asked me some very difficult questions and really pushed me to get out of the limbo of not knowing.  When she and I started talking, I was in a place of maybes, what if's, and I don't knows.  I wasn't 100% sure of God's calling or if I was able to do what He was asking.  I knew God had been laying some pretty big stepping stones up to this point, but I felt like I had run into a wall.  I was questioning where I'd work in Haiti, where I'd live, what I'd be doing, how I'd raise the money, etc.

It wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just felt like the journey had come to a stand still, and I wasn't sure how to get it moving again.  I was also still in a place of exploring working as a designer here in the States, and trying to mesh the two together somehow.

Basically I was full of excuses.

Donna put it bluntly (which I most definitely needed!!) that if I were raising these questions about anything else in life, I would go get on the web or begin getting connections to answer these questions.

Duh Allyson!!

I had let my fears, and overwhelming amounts of questions paralyze me.  Instead of taking steps forward I just froze and stopped trusting that God would show me the way.  Donna pushed me to let go of the "I don't knows"  & "I don't cares" and to begin taking steps forward.  She, Jim, & Debbie all encouraged me by saying, that once I began taking steps forward to follow God's call, whatever they may be,  that the ball would begin moving again and it would all fall in place.

So, here I am now saying to you all that I am no longer pursuing a career in design, I am no longer letting the fears or questions paralyze me, and I'm taking the first step forward by announcing this:

I'm moving to Haiti to do full-time Missions!!!

I still do not know when I'll leave, where I'll be working, where I'll be living, or how much financial support I'll need to raise, but the move is going to happen!  My hope is that I'll be down there by the end of the year.  I've already started talking to some contacts Jim, Debbie, & Donna gave me about possible opportunities.  Nothing has been decided yet, as there are a lot of details that need to be figured out first.  I'm pleading with you to cover this journey in prayers.  The power of prayer is a POWERFUL tool that we all have access to.  I would be so appreciative if you could remember me each day as you pray.

One specific prayer I'd like to ask you to lift up is for Amber Hasson & the ministry she is trying to start in Haiti (Amber is one of the contacts Donna gave me).  She is trying to start a trade school for young men & women in the Ravine (see previous post).  From what I understand, she is hoping the school will provide them with access to education learning basic skills that can assist them in getting jobs.  She is also hoping to provide a daycare area for parents, so they can work without having to leave their little ones at home alone.  I haven't heard the full expanse of her dreams for this place, but what I do know is right now she is in her own place of waiting.  There is a building right by the Ravine that she is hoping to buy and fix up to run this trade school in.  She is in the process of trying to figure out if it is for sale, if so how much, and if it is something she could afford.  As I spoke to her about the possibility of teaming up with her in this journey, she seemed excited, but explained that nothing can move forward until the building is purchased.  She asked that I pray with her over this, so I am asking you all to do the same.  If it is God's will that this building become a place for his work, I know it will come to pass.  Here is the building she is hoping to buy:

Please join me in covering Amber, this building, and her mission/dreams in prayer!

I don't know yet if this is where God will have me work, but it would be an honor and a joy to partner with Amber.  Until then, I will do my part, and that is to pray and support her.


As for some other steps I am beginning to take in following God's call:  
-I'm planning to start learning Creole.  Every missionary I spoke with last week urged me to learn the language before I come full-time.  They all said it makes life much easier and your work more effective.  So here's to learning Creole!! I'm pretty excited about this step!

-Begin creating more contacts in Haiti and exploring mission opportunities for me.

-Take a trip back to Haiti alone to do this networking & exploring.

-Begin trying to save up as much money as I can, while I try to get a better understanding of how much I'll need to raise before I can go.

-Pray, pray, pray, & Pray some more.  Along with faithfully trusting God every step of the way.

-Begin taking on more mission opportunities here at home.  Jim made a very good point that if I'm not sharing God's word at home, then there's no way I'll share when I'm there.  I need to make an even bigger effort to share God's word every chance I get here.  I need to break through some of my self-doubts and insecurities and just go full force.  Practice makes perfect right?!  A couple of ways I've already agreed to are by being a small group leader for our church's upcoming youth Metamorphosis weekend, and by agreeing to be the Director at Grey Stone Kids Camp again this summer.  These are two HUGE witnessing tools, and I'm excited to go even further than I have before with them both.

-And then, along this whole journey I will be trying to discern God's specific call for me in Haiti.  I seriously cannot ask you enough to cover this in prayer! It is a HUGE step in the process, and one I find myself worrying about often.  (That's the planner in me!  Trying to let that go and trust God with the plans!).  Once details are figured out the fundraising and specific logistical plans will begin happening.


I am so so SO very excited about this next chapter of my life.  I have never felt more at peace about a decision before, and I cannot wait to see how God will use, challenge, and grow me through it all.

I'm moving to Haiti!!!!!!

God Moments: Wednesday in Haiti

Wednesday was a very emotional and moving day for me.  I knew our plan was to walk the ravine and visit Pastor Cenor's orphanage.  I did not, however, know that God was going to break my heart in more ways than one, push me to consider options I'd never thought of, or encourage me at the end of it all with a good laugh.  God is pretty incredible like that.

Wednesday morning we woke up, had a fabulous breakfast (thank you Donna & Debbie!!) and walked over to Sherrie's place. Sherrie Fausey runs a school/orphanage/feeding program/everything just down the street from Jim's place.  I worked at her place back in 2009, during my first trip to Haiti, but this was the first time in three years that I got the opportunity to spend time with her and see what all she does again.  Sherrie gave us a quick tour of the school (side note: that place is HUGE now!), and then proceeded to walk us up to the roof; her favorite spot.  From her rooftop you get a complete 360 degree view of Port au Prince.  You could see the ocean, the mountains, and everything in between.  It was stunning!

(View of the ocean from Sherrie's roof)

As the team stood around admiring the view, Ken asked Sherrie if she would tell us about how she got started in Haiti.  I knew all about what Sherrie has been doing in Haiti, but I had never heard the story of how she got started.  To fully understand how much her story meant to me, you need to know that just the night before I spent a couple of hours talking with Jim, Debbie, Donna, and Mom about my calling to Haiti.  It was an emotion filled conversation with lots of added encouragement, challenges, and direction (more to come on that soon).  As Sherrie told her story, I felt Jim looking at me, but I also felt God saying "SEE!!  IF SHE CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU! JUST DO IT!!"  At the end of her story Sherrie said "If you feel like God is calling you to do something but it's scary, and you feel completely inadequate or unable, then He is definitely calling you, so just jump in feet forward!"  She said, "It feels like you're stepping off the side of a cliff and that you're going to fall 1,000 feet, BUT if you're following Gods call then He is walking with you, and will not let you fall."  

And then my heart started racing.  Tears were welling up in my eyes and it was another one of those moments where there is absolutely no denying that God was calling me.  I've had quite a few of those moments over the last few weeks.  They are insanely scary yet the most peace-filled moments you can imagine.  I've written quite a bit about my fears in moving to Haiti; how I feel completely inadequate and question "Are you sure God?? You really want ME?"  After this week, there is no doubt in my mind that He is sure.  He wants me there. He has orchestrated every single tiny detail up to this point to get me to where I am. It's crazy, but I've never felt more at peace about any decision than I do right now.

After Sherrie shared her testimony, she walked us down to the Ravine.  For those of you that do not know about the ravine, it is basically the slums of Haiti.  These people have next to nothing but their little concrete block, one room home, and a tin roof where their entire family lives.  Their houses are situated on the ravine; a river filled with sewage, waste, and everything else.  This water is what the people drink from, bathe in, go to the bathroom in, cook with, wash their clothes in, etc.  Until you see it first hand and experience the poverty yourself, you cannot imagine what these people must go through each day.  

 (Danny crossing the Ravine)

(Mom crossing the Ravine with Jim's help.  He was so graciously willing to step into the trash and parasite ridden water to help us across.  Thank you Jim for your Servant's heart.  You are an inspiration!)

As we walked through (and across) the ravine, I found myself in awe of the people who live there.  With my selfish American spoiled mindset, I found myself thinking these people should be angry, saddened by their conditions, broken even.  But what we found was nothing of the sorts.  Every. Single. Person we passed had a smile on their face.  They greeted us with "Bonswa" and "Alo" around every corner.  Kids ran out from behind their curtained doors to grab our hands and walk with us.  The people came out to help us navigate our way through the maze of a tent city.  They were the most loving and gracious people we encountered all week.  These people who have every reason to be mad at the world, love it in a way that I can't even comprehend.  They are grateful for what they do have.  They never forget the joy a smile can bring.  They jump at the opportunity to hold your hand and express their love to you.

In this realization I found myself feeling guilty for all of the selfish thoughts, actions, and motives I have each day.  I have NOTHING to complain about, yet we as Americans find things daily to groan over.  We are blessed in thousands of ways, yet we are still not content.  I was encouraged and challenged by these people to find contentment.  To love regardless the circumstances. To smile even when things are hard.  To love fully and unconditionally.

(Sherrie talking to a mother about her child)

And then, just when I thought my God moments were over for the day, I was wrong (no surprise there).  After we left Sherrie's Jim told us about this sweet elderly lady that lived down the street from him who was in her final days of battling cancer.  He went into her home to see how she was doing and to ask if we could come in and sing to her.  She was not having a good day, but agreed to have us anyways.  I was not prepared for what lay beyond that door. We walked into a tiny little concrete block home.  It was dark, hot, and just a tiny little fan was blowing.  And then we saw Elizabeth.  

(Elizabeth & Jim. Picture taken from Donna Tyson's blog)

Jim was sitting beside her on the bed.  She had only a sheet on and it was covered in blood from the tumors that had come through the surface of her skin and broken open.  Her right arm was swollen, and her left one was so frail.  She took all of her energy to sit up and greet us.  Mom started us off and we sang hymns to her while she used what little energy she had left to sing along with us.  As we sang How Great Thou Art, my heart was breaking. I will never be able to sing that song again without seeing Elizabeths face or thinking of her (I broke down on Sunday at Grey Stone when they started singing it).  Here was this incredible Christian woman, fighting her way through her last days on this earth.  She was pain ridden, bleeding, frail, and dying yet she still found the strength to praise God.  When we finished singing, Jim asked if someone would like to pray for her.  It was all I could do to not break into an uncontrollable sob, let alone get the words out to pray.  He prayed over her, and at the end said to her, "When you get to Heaven, your pain will end.  You will have a healthy, strong, and cancer free body.  And when we get to meet you in Heaven one day, we will be able to sing those songs together in the same language."  What an incredible picture that was.  How joyous Heaven will be.  I only spent a few short moments with Ms. Elizabeth that day, but she will forever hold a very dear place in my heart. I cannot wait to see her singing, dancing, and praising God one day in Heaven, with her healthy body!

After visiting Elizabeth we headed back to the house, ate some lunch, and then headed out to Pastor Cenor's orphanage.  I've met Pastor Cenor twice now, but had never gotten the opportunity to see his orphanage.  His place and the kids were great.  We all noticed how well behaved and polite all the kids  were.  While the kids ate lunch Pastor Cenor shared his testimony with the team.  

(Pastor Cenor and his wife)

I heard his story back in 2009, but it is an incredible testimony.  He shared about how real and evident demons are in Haiti.  Here in America, we don't face demonic possessions or see their power first hand, but we have our own demons: like technology, pornography, hatred, etc.  The Devil knows just how to get in between us and God, and here in America it clearly doesn't take much.  In Haiti however, they experience evil in a much more head on way.  Pastor Cenor shared about how VooDoo spirits took over his mother, how he escaped from that world, how he came to know Christ, and how he has led many VooDoo priests and followers to Christ over the last few years.  It's an incredible story, that I simply can't do justice to with my own words.   I was encouraged, however, to hear his story and about how big his faith is.  He will do anything the Lord tells him without question.  He's incredible.

Now, I mentioned above that God also spoke to me that day through laughter.  Before we left for the orphanage, Debbie mentioned that we should ask the kids to sing and dance for us.  We had no idea how much fun it would be.  The kids danced and sang their heart out (see link below).  The workers were cracking up with laughter and we ended the day on such a fun note.  It was a beautiful reminder to me that God see us and he knows just what we need.  He is faithful to guide us, direct our paths, push us to new beginnings, expand our comfort zones, and use us for his goodness; but he is also faithful to fill us with joy and a happiness we cannot explain.  He blesses us with those moments where we can sit back, laugh, and enjoy His creation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opJmtfGVnVo

We serve a Mighty God yall.  One who loves us more than we will ever understand.  This was just one day of how God worked this past week.  I'm just getting started so stay tuned.

Haiti God Moments: Dorothy's

As you all know, Dorothy's orphanage holds a very near and dear place in my heart.  I absolutely love her, the work she's doing, and all of the kids.  It warms my heart every time I get to hug Dorothy's neck or bend down and scoop up an armful of her kids.  I love it there.

This time around, however, our trips to Dorothy's were different than the past two trips to Haiti.  Because we were not staying at her place, we did not get to see the kids as much as usual.  While I missed seeing the kids as much, I found staying at Jim & Debbie's allowed me to return more rested and energized.  I was much more open and ready to play with the kids this go round.

It was also really incredible when we pulled up to Dorothy's house the first day.  This was the first time mom got to experience where I had been staying and working over the last year.  As soon as we got out of the car, you could hear the kids screaming "Cassie-Allyson!! Cassie-Allyson!!"  Mom thought it was cool, but I found myself giddy with excitement to go see them.  Cassie and I ended up rushing out to the backyard so we could wrap our arms around the kids.  I completely bypassed the guests in the house, and forgot to show mom, Amy, and Amanda around first.  Those initial moments, seeing the kids for the first time in 7 months, and them screaming with excitement to see us is a feeling you can't describe, you just have to experience.  I eventually went back in the house and introduced mom and met the guests.  One of the ladies inside introduced herself to me and asked my name.  When I said my name was Allyson, she goes "Ooh!! You're the Allyson the kids keep asking for!!"

And my heart melted.

They don't just remember me when I pull in the driveway.  They ask for me by name even when other guests are there.  Cassie put it best when she said in that moment she realized that the kids love us.  We both know how much we love them, and we hope and pray we can make an impact on their lives and provide a loving support to them, but it wasn't until that moment, that we both really understood for the first time that they do truly love us.  We have impacted their life, in a positive way.  They love and miss us just as much as we love and miss them.

Love.  It's such a powerful thing.

I experienced this moment again when it came time to leave Dorothy's on the last day.  I had been dreading saying goodbye to the kids, as it is always hard for me.  This time however, I was holding back tears all morning.  When I went outside to say goodbye, Johnny ran, jumped in my arms, and just hugged me as tight as he could.  When I couldn't put off goodbye any longer, I whispered to him "mwen renmen ou" (I love you in Creole).  His head popped up and he grinned and said I love YOU!

And my heart melted again.

He understood.  Not only did he understand but he responded with the same love.

It was in that moment that I got a glimpse at how big God's love is for us.  I recently read a book called Kisses From Katie, about a young girl who moved to Uganda to do mission work.  Right before we left for Haiti, I watched this clip where she shared about how she understood how massive God's love is through the adoption of her children.  She said that while we are not direct biological children of God, like Jesus is, He still loves us just as much as he loved Jesus.  In that moment, where I found myself loving this child as if he were my own, even though he did not come from my body, I understood how big God's love is.  He loves all of us just as much as he loved his very own son, Jesus.  What an incredible and inspiring love that is.  Katie verbalizes it better in this audio clip:

It never ceases to amaze me at how God shows His love for us.  He did it in so many ways this past week, but when Johnny looked back up at me and said he loved me, it was as if God himself said I love you. Just as you love this little boy, I love you even more.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." -1 John 3:1 

"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." -2 Corinthians 6:18

(Me & Johnny being silly.  January 2013)

What an incredible God we serve!

God Moments: Haiti

I've been trying to think of the right words to share with you about our trip to Haiti.  I posted early in the week, but as the week went on, I found it harder to write.  I couldn't find the words to do justice to what God was doing in my life.  Every day I felt more blessed, challenged, and encouraged than I ever had before.  The Lord truly pushed me way out of my comfort zone this past week. While not every step was easy, they were all needed and abundantly encouraging in the end.  I knew God had plans for me this week, I just never imagined they would be this big.  I never thought I'd leave with such powerful new formed friendships that feel like they've always been in my life.  I never thought he would put me in contact with people who weren't afraid to bluntly yet lovingly push me to go further each day.  I never thought God would break my heart in so many ways for His people in Haiti each day.  This trip was more powerful, more fulfilling, more challenging, and harder to leave than any trip I've ever taken before. It's so difficult to wrap up everything that happened in one or two posts.  I think I could write 20 posts and still not do justice to how incredible God was this week.  However, I am going to try.

My favorite part of each day while we were in Haiti was sharing our "God Moments" with the team at night.  We went around the table and shared about how God worked in our lives that day; sharing any moments that stood out.  We shared about challenging, heart-warming, heart-breaking, God inspired, and even laughter filled moments each night.  I was so encouraged to hear how God was working through my team members.  This time also challenged me to be more deliberate about paying attention and recognizing God's work in my life each day.  It's so easy to overlook the small and sometimes big things He does each day.  I loved that we were pushed to focus on those moments, remember them, and share them to encourage each other every night.

So, in an attempt to summarize my week in Haiti, the next few posts will share some of my standout most memorable God moments of the week.

What was your God moment today?  Did you have any "ah ha!" moments with God?  Did He push you do to something new?  Think about it for a few minutes. You'll find once you realize one God moment from today, He will reveal even more to you.

I simply cannot thank all of you enough for your support, financial assistance, and prayers over the last week. You will never truly know how much it means to me and how much you blessed my life.  Even if you didn't physically join us on this trip, each and everyone of you were a part of it.  Thank you for loving and believing in me enough to send me to Haiti.  I am eternally grateful to you all!

"Tears in My Heart"

Day two in Haiti has been wonderful.  We got up early and had a delicious casserole and grits for breakfast (we're being spoiled beyond belief).  We headed out to Pastor Cenar's church around 7:30.  At first I didn't recognize his name or the church, but then Jim reminded me that Pastor Cenar is the one who used to run the rooftop church we went to in 2009.  They used to have this great rooftop on the side of a huge mountain where they could use the loud speakers and everyone on the mountainside could hear the service.  It was a really cool experience and such a great witnessing tool.  Unfortunately, that property can't be used since the earthquake, but they have a great location close by.  

Haiti churches are always fun to attend. They worship and sing for over two hours before the message is even brought.  This isn't your traditional hymns, stand around and sing quietly church.  This is a scream, shout, dance, clap, get on your knees, or whatever the Lord puts on your heart kind of church.  They worship in ways you've probably never seen in an American church.  I may not have been able to understand much of the words they sang, but I worshipped right along with them!  Randall got to preach, and it was a great message.

After the service, Pastor Cenar took us around to see the school he's just built on the church property.  While we were in there, he explained the story of three women he had previously asked Randall to pray for during the service.  These women unfortunately are in the difficult and desperate situation of prostitution.  This is not a lifestyle they want or wanted to choose, but it has come down to either selling themselves to feed their family, or having no food.  This story really challenged all of us today.  It puts into perspective how beyond spoiled we are in America.  We may not have the newest phone, car, or nicest clothes, but I'm pretty sure none of you have ever been forced to decide between starving to death or selling your body.  It's a heart-breaking story.  These women want out so bad.  They know their actions are wrong, but what choice do they have?  One woman is basically a slave to the guy paying for her.  If she were to leave him she would be forced to completely uproot her family to a different location in fear of him killing her.  I can’t even imagine being in such a desperate, heart wrenching, painful, and difficult situation.  Pastor Cenar pleaded with us to lift these ladies up in prayer.  He said I have “tears in my heart for them.” I’m pleading the same thing to you tonight.  They want out, but need God to provide a way.  Randall preached today that there is nothing you can do to make God love you more, and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you less.  He loves us all just as we are with a love so strong we can’t explain it.  He said that God loves you no matter what you’ve done.  I think the ladies really needed to hear that message today, and I’m hoping they found some hope through it.  Please keep these ladies in your prayers.  Pray for their safety, guidance, and for a safe way out.  Please also keep the guys they are with in your prayers.  They need to find the Lord just as much as these ladies.  A change in their hearts would do wonders.  It breaks my heart, and while I wish I could do more, we were all reminded today that prayer is such a powerful and wonderful tool that we all have.

The rest of our afternoon was spent pretty much relaxing here at the house.  We had a great lunch (leftovers from last night), most of the team got a nap, and we had time to recuperate and get ready for our bible study at the Phillipino UN.

Jim & Debbie over the last few months have been hosting a weekly bible study with some of the soldiers in at the Phillipino UN.  The soldiers just recently switched out, so everyone there tonight was new. It was an exciting time to see another area of ministry here in Haiti.  As these men and women get to know Jim more over the next few weeks, this ministry will grow and grow.  We also got a good laugh while at the UN because all the soldiers wanted pictures with “just the ladies.”  At one point Amanda, Cassie, and I were trying to get a picture of the three of us and all the men asked to get their picture taken individually with us.  We got a good laugh out of it; It was like we were celebrities.  So if you see 50 new pictures of us on Facebook tagged by a bunch of random guys, you’ll know where they came from!  Ha!

It’s been a really good day.  We had a great dinner, played some bananagrams, phase 10, and have been blessed with power all day! That’s such a blessing! I am BEYOND excited to see Dorothy and the kids tomorrow.  So excited, I hope I can sleep tonight!  I hope you are all having a fabulous week, but I’m sure it simply can’t compare to ours!

More to come tomorrow after I see all my babies and hug their necks!! Have I mentioned I love this place?

Goodnight!

We're Here!

(Amanda and I on the plane to Haiti)

We made it to Haiti!!  I got pretty light headed and almost got sick on the first flight from getting too hot and having nothing to eat, but praise God he got me through the next flight with no problems at all!  Thank you Lord for Dramamine!!

We arrived around 4:30pm and boy was the airport a shock!  They have opened up the newly built area and the only way to describe it is amazing, but not at all expected!! I'm used to having to take a bus over to the airport and baggage area, but it's now all connected, the customs area was so nice, air conditioned, brand new, and get this...THEY HAVE LUGGAGE CONVEYOR BELTS NOW!!  Unless you've experienced the old Haiti airport, this will mean nothing to you, but trust me it is INCREDIBLE!  Luggage used to get piled onto the floor and you had to search through them all for your bags.  To have the nice new conveyor belts was amazing.

However, I must say that I was disappointed for those who have not traveled to Haiti before, because they did not get to experience the full Haitian airport experience.  Even exiting the building was nicer.  Cassie and I kept commenting on how weird it was.  Nice.  So nice.  But weird.

Jim picked us up from the airport in their nice 12 passenger van (air conditioned!) and brought us over to their new place.  This house is amazing yall.  You have no clue. Seriously, those who have never been to Haiti before are getting spoiled beyond belief (they just don't realize it yet, ha!)

Debbie fixed us a wonderful dinner of spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and sweet tea (yum!).  It was delicious!

Other than that the team hasn't been up to much tonight.  We did a little devotion, tried to plan out the next couple of days, and organized the supplies we brought  (Dorothy is going to be so excited to get all these gifts)! The rest of our night has been spent organizing our luggage, showering, and simply getting settled.

I can already feel God pushing me outside of my comfort zone, and really truly preparing my heart for missions here.  I pray He will open up doors and guide me through it all.  It's going to be an amazing trip and I can't wait for everything to get started.  I especially can't wait to hug and kiss my sweet Johnny and see Dorothy and the rest of the kids.  Please continue to keep our team in your prayers!

I love this place.