Plans...or Lack there of

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love having a plan. I like to know what's coming next and what to expect around the corner. I just preferred to be in control. I want things a certain way and have always been determined to get there one way or another. Well during the last year, God has definitely put me in my place on this situation. He took all the plans I made without Him, and erased them. I'll be honest, I fought Him a little while (never a good idea), and struggled to give up that control. But I have come to realize over the last few months that putting God as the center of my plans and following His will for my life is the only thing that will work and bring me joy. I was doing my bible study the other night and read a sentence that took everything I was learning and summed it up into one simple but incredibly powerful sentence.

"God's plans for your life will bring you more joy, than any plan you can come up with on your own."

I had known this for a long time, but to have it written out so simply and boldly was very inspirational. Any time I get scared about not knowing the future, I say this sentence to myself. It's become my reminder to look to God for His guidance, and to remind myself to trust in Him. As scary as it is for me to give up control, I'm doing it because I know His plans are what will bring me ultimate joy. He knows what is best for me. After all, God knows better then anyone what's to come and can help me avoid the bad turns. I'm letting Him take the driver's seat and I trust God will get me where He wants, in His own time, and I trust His plans will bring me to a place where my life is overflowing with joy.

" 'I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.' " --- Jeremiah 29:11

I Passed!!! :)

As many of you know, I'm studying interior design. The program is fun, exhilarating, and more challenging then I think any of us had ever imagined. This past year definitely showed all of us just how much we have to be willing to do and sacrifice for this major, but we all made it through. I push through it though because I truly do love Interior Design. That being said, we knew we had one last hurdle to overcome before making it to junior year, and that was our Sophomore Design Review. This is where our design professors go through our portfolio of all the work we'd done over that year and decide whether we should continue on in the program or look for another major. We've all dreaded that review and have waited anxiously all summer to get the letter. Well I got mine today, and although I don't particularly agree with everything in the review, the last box they checked said that I SHOULD continue in the program. I can't tell you how great that feels!!!! My family and I both know I can succeed in this major but it feels so good to know my professors agree. Any doubt I've ever felt about the major is now gone. Bring on Junior year and all the sleepless nights in Norton. Oh the memories we've built in that building! (Below are some pictures of me and a few of my good friends from design)

I love the Lake!

I've decided that the lake is by far my most favorite place to be in the whole world. It's so relaxing and peaceful. When I'm there, I can't help but be reminded of how amazing God's creation really is. This weekend we spent our nights out on the pier watching fireworks and i spent some time staring up at the stars. I've always loved stars, but out there with no light polution, there are seemingly endless amounts of stars. It's so humbling to be reminded of how small we are and how large God is by something so beautiful as a sky filled with stars. I just love the lake. (Thanks for sharing your lake house with me Cassie!! You're the best!)

How I Did It: Part 2

It's been a while since my first post so just as a reminder; I'm writing this series of posts to tell how I got through, and am continuing to move forward through, my breakup. My hope is that someone, someday will find hope and encouragement through the things I write and hopefully help them find their way through their grief a little easier. I wanted a starting point to moving on and had trouble finding it, so my hope is that I can remove that step of the process for anyone out there hurting, and help them to find hope again.

So how'd I do it? Well step one for me was to cry, cry, cry, and cry some more. Now this may seem a bit obvious to you, and maybe it is. But crying helps so much. It's your body's way of releasing all the hurt and stress your feeling inside. I know for me, during the first month not a single day went by that I didn't breakdown halfway through the day or cry myself to sleep at night. There were days I wanted to give up, I'd stay in bed all day sometimes, I'd find myself pleading with God to take my pain away and begging for His comfort. I eventually got to the point that I had cried so much that I found myself unable to cry anymore.

I don't say those things to scare or discourage you, I tell you them to make you realize that it IS ok and important to cry. I remember thinking it wasn't ok for me to be upset and thinking that everyone expected me to over it. I thought at times that it wasn't ok for me to be crying at all, that I should just slap a smile on my face and get over it. That was not the case though. Don't bottle up your emotions, don't think people are looking down on you for grieving. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and in their own time. It's not a fun thing to go through and it's most definitely not easy, but it's one step of the process you just have to endure. Accepting that will make things a little bit easier. You'll eventually get to the point that you will make it through an entire day without crying and those days will turn into weeks. Push through the hard times, and don't give up. I promise it doesn't last forever.

Happily Ever After

Today was movie day at day camp. The whole time all I could think about was how when I was their age I used to watch fairy tales and dream up all sorts of wonderful dreams. And I kept thinking how great would it be to be that age again where a movie can make you believe anything and everything is possible, believe that everything will work perfectly and that every story will have a happy ending. I watched some of the little girls faces and I could just see their little minds dreaming up their own dreams. It would be awesome if we could keep that child-like innocence forever, but it was so cool to see those little girls and be reminded of how awesome growing up is.